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Submitted on
January 24, 2012
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234 KB
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531×752
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Make
CASIO COMPUTER CO.,LTD.
Model
EX-Z60
Shutter Speed
1/60 second
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F/3.1
Focal Length
6 mm
Date Taken
Jan 22, 2010, 3:42:44 PM
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Adobe Photoshop CS4 Macintosh

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Creative Commons License
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Sacrifice by HeartGear Sacrifice by HeartGear
This piece was my final project for my life drawing class.

All three figures are me.

Me with long hair in a white dress sitting on the sacrificial altar.
Me with short hair and a black suite offering a flaming torch to....
Me with medium hair in a gray hoodie, undecided.

The setting is my church.

The piece was supposed to be a self-portrait.

I wanted to illustrated the conflict throughout my life, of whether or not to sacrifice my feminine aspect, in order to get on with the institution, my family, and my community. The me in black is the person I feel pressured to be. The me in white is the person I wish I could be. And the me in gray is the one who must make the decision. Accept the torch. Burn the witch. Or reject the torch, and become in part an enemy of all those who raised and loved me.

I wanted this to be communicated in this piece, without having to explain it.
Whether or not I was successful, is up to you.

I received a good grade, but I remember my teacher not understanding the message. Maybe it's because, at the time, I was still pretty closeted about this.

My only regret is the quality of this image. Unfortunately, it's very difficult to scan a piece this large in. Instead, I had to rely on a photograph.

The illustration is quite large, about 4'x3'.

It currently hangs in my parent's basement.

~Gear
Add a Comment:
 
:iconkeylimepi:
There isn't much I can say that hasn't already been said with regards to the depth of this portrait. Just know that, for whatever it's worth, I find it very impressive and a wonderful insight into how Heart Gear's mind functions. :heart:

It gives me thought into my own situation and the people I must tell.
Reply
:iconsaintvulcan:
saintvulcan Jan 26, 2012  Student General Artist
..man i bet sigmon frued has something to say about this lol

looks great
Reply
:iconkrystafer:
I mostly got it before I read your explanation... but I live it too...
It is a powerful and beautiful piece.
thanks!!
Reply
:iconhipper-reed:
You have a way of using black and white that causes me envy. The shading, the tone, the emotions from each player. Wow . . . .

I think it DOES fit your message about having to make a choice and I can certainly sympathize with you.
Reply
:iconheartgear:
HeartGear Jan 25, 2012  Professional Traditional Artist
Thank you ^^
Reply
:iconxombiexarx:
Xombiexarx Jan 24, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
That is a wonderful piece.
Reply
:iconangelos-griever:
You are who you are.

Nice piece.
Reply
:iconracqd:
That is beautifully atmospheric and I get a big gothic feeling from the setting.
Got to say, an intriguing, individual and innovative way to present a self-portrait.
Squinting my eyes at it, at least for me, brings out a monochromatic photographical look to it.
Reply
:iconstgulik:
Uah. o.o That's some artwork with a strong impact and the message is one with which I certainly can sympathize... it wasn't church for me, but it was certainly all the rest of it. Ultimately I did reject the torch and have been ostracized. I'm glad to be myself though...
Reply
:iconheartgear:
HeartGear Jan 25, 2012  Professional Traditional Artist
Hopefully some vestiges of what was good in your "black side" persists.
Reply
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