I've been reading the critiques of the two people here, and I'm wondering if we're reading the same comic.
For one, I feel the vision is very good. We have a story in which it seems there has been a mistaken identity involved, and that we are slowly being drawn in by the plot, which I like. Give me bits to munch on, not the whole dinner at once.
For originality, I don't understand the 3 1/2 stars at all. How does a reincarnation into a more difficult situation somehow not original? Have I been missing out on another story somewhere? The progression of bindings shows what the sentry is explaining and the question mark only tantalizes at what may be to come. Showing the 'Princess's' fate in panel two as if it were a video game is very novel.
I like the technique. It's simple, direct, and to the point. The 'Princess's' struggles, sentry's monologue, and panel progression move the story along quite adequately. The placement of the speech could have been perhaps placed better, but it didn't cause me to read it more than once, or be able to identify things. You don't need to overthink this, gang. And if you haven't noticed, of course the lava in panel two has a reflection. This is a simplified drawing to help explain things, again, in a video game style. Do you think the 'Princess's' hands actually end in nubs?
The impact of it all continues to mystify me. This tale is drawing me further and further along, like a river slowly gaining force. The sentry's monologue helped explain a lot, and gave new insight to the story's plot.
There are those that might think I'm being too generous. I'm just telling it like I see it. Some people like to criticize just to hear themselves talk or feel it's their duty to cut someone down. They admit they nitpick and for that they give negative ratings. I don't work that way. HeartGear's story is a cool breeze in a Bedouin tent in the Sahara. It feels good. And I tell it like I see it.
Okay, I'm a bit new at writing out a formal critique here but as Mario says "Here we go!"
To start things off, I am thrilled that we finally have an explanation of what the Third Law is and the execution for panel two is adorable. I didn't think I'd ever find myself using the word adorable to describe someone falling in lava but there you have it. It's also nice to see the return of stone and metal work walls of the castle in the panel too. I can understand that it would be a pain to try and put it in for every single page but it's a nice detail to reinforce every once and a while. My only minor nitpick here is that I don't think you'd have a reflection in lava and it seems to undermine the danger of it.
Panel three serves the much needed purpose of hammering home Samus's predicament. Looking back through the previous pages I notice we never really got a clear look at how Samus's arms were tied and I'm sad to admit that some of the impact of 'she's tied up tighter!' back in "Check Point" was lost on me. I love the arrows as a means of showing the progression of her peril and the "?" box in the third frame was clever. Is it just there to represent a hypothetical worse scenario or is it foreshadowing more misfortune?
The narrative for the page is what gets that little Impact rating over on the right a full five stars. While it may be serving mostly as exposition, having more information about the world has had my imagination running wild trying to work out more details of this story. The Third Law is designed for player progression but can it work on all inhabitants of the world? If it had to be broken when dealing with Samus does that mean she's a player character too (where Peach would have been a NPC)? If that's the case are Bowser and the Koopa repeatedly referring to her as "Princess" to distract her from this fact? I've been having a lot of fun speculating so far and I'm excited to find out more.
While I like how the page turned out I do have a few minor issues. While I know the level of detail will vary throughout the project, it's a little jarring going from the rougher version of Samus's face in panel one to the more detailed one in panel four. With panel two and three being cutaways to enhance the Koopa's explanation, its implies that one and four are "the real world" and should probably be more consistent.
Second, I wonder if it would be possible to move the word bubbles around to not block the Koopa Troopa. It doesn't bother me as much in panel four but combining the word bubble with panel two cutting into panel one, it took me a minute to realize the Koopa was holding a spear instead of somehow having the large screw from before.
The last issue is that the moss seems to be a bit liberally applied in some places on the cages. This leads to us being able to see where some of the bars end on the outside of the cage and I get the feeling that wasn't intentional.
Most of the negatives however feel like nitpicking details and overall I enjoyed this page a lot. I'm looking forward to seeing how things progress.
REALLY bad for being
AWOL from dA, the
partially for my
again, but this time
for real ;n; In any
case, I hope this
suffice for my
leave.. :points: 300
wandering in the
a beautiful letter
written by Sergio
Larrain in 1982 to
his nephew, who had
Larrain where to
begin to become a
and foremost, you
have to have a
camera that fits you
well, one th...
you said."Where do
you think you're
going?" Zalgo said.
away from here and
from you." you
said.He chuckled and
shook his head. You
were confused and
tilted your head a
thinking you can
^Nyx-Valentine arrived in our community and started whipping everyone into a frenzy with her relentless desire to bring the Artistic Nude and Fetish galleries to the fore. 9 years later, and it's safe to say that Nyx is not only a leader as a photographer in these galleries, but she has also established herself as a much saught after model. ^... Read More