Wedding Drag and Pronoun-onsense

This weekend was a lovely wedding for a good friend of mine (seems like everyone's getting married these days!) and Al suggested I go in drag.   I was a little hesitant... not because my friend would care.   She's super supportive of that.   And not even mostly b/c it would be the first time in a church as myself.   Just because I don't know her family and don't want to create a distraction from what is ultimately her day.

It was totally fine though!   Everyone was just lovely about it.

There were some quirky moments.   At one point I was looking for the guy's restroom, as that's my go-to  (ehn... so much drama over something so simple).   I was standing in front of the women's looking lost apparently because a service person walked by and said "It's right in front of you!"    So, I shrugged and went ahead.   No one was there, so no harm no foul.

Also, I danced in awesome shoes ALL NIGHT.   That was a real concern, and I had backups (flats), but I was determined to stick it out.   And you know what, it's really not that bad.

The other thing I was thinking about was dancing...  girls dance in a way and guys dance in a way, and I used to think it was because of body mechanics (hips and stuff) and I'm sure that's involved... but you know what?   I think it's the clothes too!   Cuz a dress makes you much more aware of where your legs are going than pants, and heals slow you way down and make for deliberate walkin' action vs. guy's shoes, which you can pretty much do anything you want in.

But overall it was a really great night with a really great feel.   So much of being Andro is about not only how people are reacting to ya, but how you're feeling about yourself, and the feels were so great!   It also helped that it was a wedding, and everyone was so happy for the couple that I could escape any silly spotlights that sometimes get shown on the gender outlaw in the group.

I did have one epiphany though.   I was checkin into the hotel with Al and it was under my name.   When we walked up the clerk said "Hello ladies!" .   Now, I always like to watch and see how things change with people.   Sometimes people really don't notice, but since I was giving him my driver's license he had to know.   I could tell he was a little surprised, but he just sort of went with it.   When we left he referred to us again as sort of an affirmation.

And you know what?   Something just clicked about that.

Going all out with drag is as much for others as it is for the person in the clothes, because it communicates how you want to be treated.   Being too subtle about it, or totally going overboard, can cause friction but trying to play it natural helps set others at ease.

Because honestly, as much as I say it doesn't matter if people refer to me as a guy or a girl, there's something really affirming about being referred to as a "She".

And maybe it's just as affirming for the person you're interacting with, so they know the proper course of action to take.

Just some thoughts.
~Noah